Friday, December 22, 2006

Consider Me Horrifically Unimpressed

Some of you may remember that I tried to see the latest Guest/Levy vehicle For Your Consideration a few days before its wide release but was fought off by a late-arriving companion and a subsequent lack of seats in the theater. Part of me wishes I saw it that night, just so I could warn everyone out there not to see this movie.

Let me say up top that I'm as ardent a supporter of this comedy troupe as anyone out there. I've publicly stated that Waiting For Guffman is the funniest movie of all-time. Catherine O'Hara's never been just The Mom From Home Alone to me. I've proposed to Parker Posey via e-card with a dick pic several times. These guys are the bees' knees, and this is my jam.

But it saddens me greatly to report that the only redeeming quality of FYC is that at least it's over before you realize just how badly it sucks.

We actually walked out of the theatre worse people than when we walked in there. The outside world afterwards seemed slower, certainly less funny, overwhelmingly gloomy and horribly out of step -- it changed when we were inside. I almost wish Superman's frivolous side would coax him into rotating the Earth backwards to stop us from ever seeing it in the first place. I needed two showers and a Roofie Colada after watching that flick.

The acting is tremendously terrible, the plot goes nowhere and the overall formula that made the first three so terrific is sorely missing. And, save a couple of funny lines from Guy That Played Letterman In That HBO Movie, John Michael Higgins, the laughs were sorely missing as well. I'll put the comedic value of this movie like this: When each cast member dies, all of their individual funerals will no doubt be much funnier than this piss-poor, phoned-in attempt to re-kindle the magic. I almost feel like the joke's on us.

The worst part is that this picture is such schlock that it lends itself to revisionism of the whole series. Were the previous three -- Guffman, Best In Show and A Mighty Wind -- really as good as I previously thought? Could it be that I'm placing too much faith in them, and at what point do I go back and watch them in order? That's how badly this experience rocked me to my core, I'm questioning everything that came before it.

Now I want to know what happened: How could such geniuses look at the finished copy of such dreck and proclaim it ready for public consumption? Did Christopher Guest & Co. think they could just throw together everyone from the first three, with a splash of Ricky Gervais and the annoying cousin from Mad About You, and walk out of there with automatic gold, Jerry, gold? I can't emphasize how much it bothers me that they actually felt comfortable releasing this crap.

So in closing, if you see this movie after reading this post, I'll kill you.

Slack Link of the Day: Trump's Miss USA got to keep her crown. But what happens with Miss Nevada didn't stay with Miss Nevada, and Katie Rees will indeed be stripped of her Miss Nevada USA 2007 title (ask nicely and she'll likely strip herself again). Why are the pageant folks pissed? Probably over these racy photos, that I warn you are not safe for work. I mean, shouldn't the female representative of the state where Vegas is be allowed to perform this strumpetry?

Best Google Search Referrals That Randomly Brought People Here: It's a sad day for romance when Dick in a Box is the tamest search that brought the hornies to this site -- here's a sample of what attracted people here in just the past 24 hours: Anne Heche dike, girls kicking men in the balls, teenage boys hump, animal fuking girl photos, young lesbian nyc, super nanny boobs, woman looking for fuck buddies L.A., nude pics Huey Lewis penis, Screech penis, Big Brother sex tape, and Cowboy bulges.

Slack Video of the Day: Hornsby, enjoy it.

Slack Song of the Day: Wow, not sure I knew they had some Tom Tom Club on the Live Music Archive. Let's all listen to a show together, this one from 9/25/01 in Asheville, NC. If you wanna get down to brass tacks, Genius of Love is what you're looking for.


At 11:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw a mighty wind in the theatre and left feeling disappointed. I rewatched it though and enjoy it very much. is it possible that this movie is best viewed in the comfort of yer home?

At 11:20 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Maybe. But I'm afraid this is best viewed with sharp sticks in both eyes, and only after Mr. Blonde cuts off your ears. I'm still queasy.

At 11:28 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

where's your rocky review ace?

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

In the Rocky post. On the bottom. Shorter, but sweeter.

At 12:38 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

oh, damn u for making me scroll down, who do u think u are.

At 1:13 PM, Blogger kerry113 said...

So your confidence in Christopher Guest has been rattled. But to question all that came before? To lose faith in the pure comedic genius of Libby Mae's thoughts on life on the island of New York and tv? To brush away the humor in Ron and Sheila's wind-suited white-sneakered mockery of Dr. Pearl? To forget about all the dance belts and tubes of chapstick, Remains of the Day lunchboxes, and the simple pleasure of just a coke?

Why, not believe in Waiting for Guffman? You might as well not believe in fairies! Corky lives, and Corky lives forever. A thousand years from now, nay ten times ten thousand years from now, the bicoastal Albertsons will continue to make glad the heart of childhood! Yes, Slack, there is a Waiting for Guffman...

At 4:10 PM, Blogger spinachdip said...

See, Guffman was always the classic for me, and every Guest movie since has been trying to emulate it, but has gone downhill.

Best In Show was enjoyable, but I don't think there was that natural drama that Guffman had. Likewise for Mighty Wind, but with less stolen moments from Fred Willard.

And after seeing the trailer, I have no desire to see FYC. Guffman will always be 5 stars on my Netflix profile though.

At 4:23 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Two great comments, just what I needed today. Kerry, your words are a warm blanket on an Alaskan winter night, and Dip, your analysis was dead on as always.

See, I think brilliant filmmakers all go downhill after the first, even when they're typically the low budget ones. I've yet to waver in my belief that Bottle Rocket and Guffman are the two best from Wes and Guest -- and the rest is all chasing the dragon.

But even with that mindset, I still couldn't get past the fact that they actually signed off on the finished product here. Good god, what an abomination.

I'm gonna go home and bite my pillow.

At 5:19 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

wow...this morning I was driving past the cheapie movie theater right next to my g/f's house and saw that they were playing For your consideration and was totally going to see it. 3 bucks can't go wrong. But you have convinced me otherwise. Totally agree with you btw, Guffman is top 5 all-time.

At 6:05 PM, Blogger Lozo said...

catherine o'hara isn't the mom from home alone to me. she's the chick in all those shitty christopher guest movies that aren't funny at all.

switch to blogger beta already.

At 11:39 AM, Anonymous monkeyinmypants said...

"nude pics Huey Lewis penis"

Sorry, that was me.

At 6:02 PM, Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I think they have all been cool, but each one has gotten a little crappier, so my hopes weren't up too high. Obviously, Spinal Tap is better than all of them combined, and is maybe the best comedy ever put on film.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger NewmRadio said...

No posts about the late great James Brown yet?!


Post a Comment

<< Home