Consider Me Horrifically Unimpressed
Some of you may remember that I tried to see the latest Guest/Levy vehicle For Your Consideration a few days before its wide release but was fought off by a late-arriving companion and a subsequent lack of seats in the theater. Part of me wishes I saw it that night, just so I could warn everyone out there not to see this movie.
Let me say up top that I'm as ardent a supporter of this comedy troupe as anyone out there. I've publicly stated that Waiting For Guffman is the funniest movie of all-time. Catherine O'Hara's never been just The Mom From Home Alone to me. I've proposed to Parker Posey via e-card with a dick pic several times. These guys are the bees' knees, and this is my jam.
But it saddens me greatly to report that the only redeeming quality of FYC is that at least it's over before you realize just how badly it sucks.
We actually walked out of the theatre worse people than when we walked in there. The outside world afterwards seemed slower, certainly less funny, overwhelmingly gloomy and horribly out of step -- it changed when we were inside. I almost wish Superman's frivolous side would coax him into rotating the Earth backwards to stop us from ever seeing it in the first place. I needed two showers and a Roofie Colada after watching that flick.
The acting is tremendously terrible, the plot goes nowhere and the overall formula that made the first three so terrific is sorely missing. And, save a couple of funny lines from Guy That Played Letterman In That HBO Movie, John Michael Higgins, the laughs were sorely missing as well. I'll put the comedic value of this movie like this: When each cast member dies, all of their individual funerals will no doubt be much funnier than this piss-poor, phoned-in attempt to re-kindle the magic. I almost feel like the joke's on us.
The worst part is that this picture is such schlock that it lends itself to revisionism of the whole series. Were the previous three -- Guffman, Best In Show and A Mighty Wind -- really as good as I previously thought? Could it be that I'm placing too much faith in them, and at what point do I go back and watch them in order? That's how badly this experience rocked me to my core, I'm questioning everything that came before it.
Now I want to know what happened: How could such geniuses look at the finished copy of such dreck and proclaim it ready for public consumption? Did Christopher Guest & Co. think they could just throw together everyone from the first three, with a splash of Ricky Gervais and the annoying cousin from Mad About You, and walk out of there with automatic gold, Jerry, gold? I can't emphasize how much it bothers me that they actually felt comfortable releasing this crap.
So in closing, if you see this movie after reading this post, I'll kill you.
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Slack Video of the Day: Hornsby, enjoy it.
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