Wednesday, December 13, 2006

HYLA In NYC

One of my roommates left for his girlfriend's place at 9 pm last night, and I walked him down to the street to wish him well in this endeavor. Not really, but I did think some fresh air and a cigarette were both in order. I'm a walking contradiction sometimes.

As we stood right outside our blood-red door, conversing for a second before I'd give him a high-five and send him on his way with a packed lunch, we both noticed something odd, something beautifully odd.

Standing about four feet to my left, right beneath the funeral home awning, were two really cute girls...just goin' at it. Really, just goin' to town, frenching the shit out of each other on the well-trafficked street.

Usually in the Village we get The Great Bulldyke Makeout of 2006 or the Fabulous Effeminate Handholding Bazaar, but no, oh no, not on this night. On this night, directly next to Roommate Glaser and I as we stood trying to contain our smiles, on this night we had hot, young lesbian action. Neither girl could've been older than 23 and neither could be classified by any number less than a 7. But the real beauty was that they both seemed so unbelievably content with their choice to publicly suck face and feel boobies.

Roommate Glaser walked away after a few tantalizing blueballsian minutes, presumably to go buy a girl's wig and make out with his own girlfriend; I stayed to watch the free show. Roommate Dorsey serendipitously pulled up in a cab moments later, bringing a cold shower to any masturbatory plans this chance encounter may have sparked. Hilariously, he must've been paying for the cab for a minute, and I as couldn't get his attention, I was desperately hoping that in true sitcom form, the girls would stop and walk away the second he popped out of the cab.

But they continued as he exited the taxi, and I gave him a "yoooooo" eyeroll to my left. As he came closer to the door they broke off the world's longest Big Red commercial kiss and began giggling like schoolgirls, making us think they were NYU kids rather than post-college lovers. In fact, Dorsey made a clever observation, that their reaction was more of two girls that made out for the first time in their respective lives and couldn't be happier with the newfangled feelings the makeout inspired. Great for them, great for us.

There's no real point to this post, but I feel like if you see hot, young lesbian action in public, you should alert people to the happenings, to the haps. So as a PSA, if you ever pass by Bleecker Street, you may want to turn down the street to see if these chicks are around.

If so, they're awesome. Good times for everyone involved here.

Slack Link of the Day: Hooker Raffle may be a great band name, but it's also a very thoughtful gesture for charity. My buddy Neddy just sent over the following link about a Dallas escort that set up an interesting raffle in which the winner gets a session with her and as many as 12 of her colleagues at the same time. Genius idea -- for $50 (or three entries for $100), you could have a menage a trois times six. A twelve a trois? Check it out.

Slack Video of the Day: This clip made the rounds yesterday, but the blog that hosted it kept crashing. Now it's on Google Video, so I imagine it'll be safe for public consuption. I personally think this whole thing is a ploy to get him back in the news, but that's just the cynical bastard in me (and you). Anyway, who knew that Pauly Shore still did stand-up, but more importantly, who knew that he could take such a hard punch and walk away to tell the story? Remind me never to tell jokes in Texas, especially if I'm not funny.

Slack Song of the Day: Two of the first three randomized songs on my iPod this morning were Boston tunes...so I'm feeling some Boston love this morning, and you should indulge me.

6 Comments:

At 12:32 PM, Blogger Lozo said...

you really are behind on the pauly shore stuff. it was revealed to be a hoax yesterday.

two girls kissing outside a funeral home, huh? you know grief is the world's most powerful aphrodisiac.

and none of you had a picture phone for the lesbians? sigh.

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Mythbusters:

Pauly Shore = Fake.

Boston = Crap.

(Pure, loveable crap, yes. But crap nonetheless. And thank you for using the headline "There's Aspects About Boston I Love, Too." I say that everytime someone says something about the Red Sawks. As always, nobody has a clue what in the hell I am talking about.

Bittersweet Motel = best hangover movie ever made.)

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Allright, well at least my suspicions about Pauly Shore were confirmed. Shit, I never knew so many people followed Pauly Shore news so closely. Get lives, motherfuckers.

My camera phone takes worse pictures than anything you've ever seen of Sasquatch, so I don't think it was gonna work. I blame Dorsey.

Al, you're still gay for Trey, and you know it. You wish these lesbians were you and Big Red, don'tcha?

 
At 3:00 PM, Anonymous Dorsey said...

I dropped my pants, er phone, upon first glimpse of lesbo action. I lack composure in these situations, what can I say. I will tell you though, I truly believe the junk haters purposely dry humped in front of Ace. I know it's the season of giving, but ladies, if you're out there reading this, seriously, this was above and beyond the call of duty. Good for you!

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger NewmRadio said...

Could the lesbian action just have been a ploy to get lesbians back into blog news? Also, Boston takes too much shit. They've become the whipping boy of everyone who wants to prove they're into 'real music' by proclaiming Boston gay. Boston not 'deep' enough for ya?!

Signed,
Boston's mom

 
At 6:52 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

"Also, Boston takes too much shit. They've become the whipping boy of everyone who wants to prove they're into 'real music' by proclaiming Boston gay. Boston not 'deep' enough for ya?!"

Newman, don't you mean New York instead of Boston in those sentences?

 

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