Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish
On the heels of the Randy Johnson trade, I've got another derivative idea for those original independent thinkers known as network executives: Who Wants To Fellate Brian Cashman?
I think it'd be a big hit among Yankees fans, at the very least. Has anyone done a better job this offseason than Cash? By smartly dealing the Janet Reno-voiced Unit, Angry Dragon Sheff and Ball Magnet Wright, our wholly underrated general manager's shed $36 million from the payroll and banished three guys that were probably going to subtract from the well-being of the 2007 Yankees.
More importantly, in return for these castoffs (two of which weren't going to be offered a chance to re-sign), the Yankees welcomed to its club six minor-leaguers that by all accounts look promising at worst, Young Chris Britton, and middle reliever Luis Vizcaino. So even after the combined $20 million Andy Eugene Buttchin and Nipponese Igawa signings, the Yanks shaved about $16 million in salary and stockpiled a host of young talent like John Mark Karr.
That leaves the Yanks with room for the Rocket, a deal I'm sure will get done some time in the next few weeks. Jeff Karstens, Darrell Rasner and (hopefully not) Carl Pavano can certainly fill in as the fifth starter until Clemens gets ready to pitch, and with Das Wunderkind Phil Hughes on the horizon, all of a sudden the club looks ready for this year and beyond.
At a time when everyone and their foul-mouthed Southie mother is doubting the Boy Wonder & Co. up in Fenway, it's nice to know the Yanks are returning to the Stick Michael School for Awesome Baseball Management (a subsidiary of Building World Championship Teams, LLC). Pitchers and catchers can't come soon enough.
Slack Video of the Day: Just like the Lazy Monday follow-up to Lazy Sunday, the Dick In a Box derivatives are starting to flow like menstrual hemoglobin. Up first, My Box in a Box, by this chick with seriously nice cleavage. The video otherwise is a solid "meh."
Slack Video of the Day II: An fairly oldie but a definite goodie, here's a vid of Jack Black offering blowjobs like a common street hooker.
Slack HT Plug of the Day: If you'll remember kindly, last year I did a whole recap of the live shows I saw in 2005. I managed to one-up myself this past year, though, seeing 86 live performances by 59 different bands at 60 ticketed shows in 37 separate venues. Check out my Top Ten favorites from 2006 over on the musical playground.
Slack Song of the Day: Today we're hittin' youse up with Freedom of 76 and Don't Shit Where You Eat by Ween.