Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Quick Sexy News Hits

We'll return to more Four Jerks in the UK trip madness in a bit, but first let's check in on some sexy news stories making headlines...

Page 4 Daddies Program Doing Fine
So apparently the Mark Foley Scandal has generated more interest in the congressional page program among America's teenagers. Either this is a blatant case of "there's no such thing as bad publicity," or more and more of our nation's youth is looking to be reamed hard by a father figure type in the Library of Congress. Time will tell.

To the Moon, Alice
This one's all over the place today: A NASA space shuttle astronaut freaked the fuck out and tried to kidnap a romantic rival in a bizarre love triangle with a man she wasn't even involved with. Navy Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak pepper sprayed a woman and tried to abduct her from a parking lot at the Orlando airport, only to foul it all up and get arrested. The best part is that Nowak, who is married with three kids, had adult diapers to cut down on potential rest stops as she made her getaway. Just goes to show, even in zero gravity, women are fucking nuts and should be treated like lepers at all times.

Praise Jesus: Mind Over ManBatter
I meant Mind Over Matter there, sorry. But in a startling case of Jesus working miracles, "The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is 'completely heterosexual' and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser." I have no joke here, I just think this dude's story is awesome. I mean, seriously, wouldn't you like to know what kind of intense counseling goes along with helping someone get over homosexuality? There's a whole porn flick waiting to be made here.

We'll be back later with more of Slack LaLane's English Vacation...

Slack Video of the Day: Spanish Miguel just sent over this clip of a sweet goal from Sevilla's archives -- the replay is tremendous.

Slack HT Plug of the Day: The latest edition of Pullin' 'Tubes is up, and today we're featuring some quality videos, including my mean assessment of a Northwestern A cappella band butchering Bruce Hornsby's The Way It Is. What a shame.

Slack Song of the Day: I threw an old 1992 version of PJ's Once in that link above, so let's stick with the Pearl Jam catalog this morning -- here's Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town from 5/30/03 in Vancouver. I really love that tune.

2 Comments:

At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Jude said...

Wilbanks eyes on that Nowak chick? Huh? Anyone? I haven't checked yet.

You gotta think she's got 'em...all the earmarks are there.

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Nope, regular eyes. But I like the way you think.

 

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