Wait, Hold It, Lemme Get This Straight...
Tell me which is worse: The fact that my biggest television guilty pleasure is the occasional Deal Or No Deal episode or the fact that this contestant has made over his entire physical appearance so that he's looked just like Howie Mandel since the show debuted?
Wait, I know the answer, and it's not me. I swear it's not.
So let me get this all sorted out in my head here: Of the world's six and a half billion people, and of this country's 300 million, the man you've chosen to emulate almost to the point of scary single white female obsession is fucking Howie Mandel? Are you shitting me? Are you (Yahoo) serious? Shit, now that I say his name, I think molding your appearance to look like Yahoo Serious makes more sense to me.
All my life I've wanted to look exactly like a C-level celebrity, and this contestant is living my very dream. He's the one that gets to answer, "Yes, I've been told that!" when passersby ask him, "Holy shit, anyone ever tell you that you look just like that awfully unfunny comedian who used to blow up a rubber glove on his head in a patethtic attempt to get people to laugh with him?" That's gotta be a fun conversation.
Good for you, Fake Howie, or whatever your real name is (I'm guessing it's not Fowie Fandel). You say your daughters love it and I believe you. So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go convince my mom to re-make herself into Elayne Boosler and my dad into Dom Irrera.
Slack Link of the Day: This middle-school teacher is so unmistakably moronic that I'll just excerpt the cop's statement: "She learned her lesson. Program your dealers into your phone."
Slack Video of the Day: For a look back at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius and the burgeoning psychedelic movement, check out this strangely inviting 1966 promo clip of Donovan’s Sunshine Superman.
Slack Song of the Day: One of my old favorites has come home to roost -- here's that wicked Plane Crash from the Treymoe.deski Tsunami Benefit at the Roseland Ballroom in February 2005.