Friday, March 30, 2007

I'm Back, Baby

Wow. What a week. I've got Mississippi mud on my shoes and D.C. slime on my soul. I need a shower and about 43 hours of sleep.

The trip was far from uneventful, but since I try to never discuss work on this here rag, there's not much I can really reveal. Well, here's one anecdote: Nigh 2 am, this intimidating security lady came up to the hotel in which we raged hard last night. I took the bullet for the room and answered the door as a favor to the severely intoxicated host, where I enjoyed the following drunken conversation with a husky woman that looked like a combination of Cool Runnings star Doug E. Doug and Office Linebacker Terry Tate:

Doug E. Tate: Are you the registered guest?
Ace Cowboy: Absolutely, what can I do for you?
Doug E. Tate: What's your name?
Ace Cowboy: [Last Name, First Name], why, what's up?
Doug: Can I see a photo ID?
Ace: Sorry, I don't have it on me.
Doug: You don't have a photo ID on you?
Ace: No, sorry, my wallet's in my room.
Doug: Isn't this your room here?
Ace: Yeah, but...oh, you're really good. I'll be right back.

Then I sent the host out and he fingerbanged her in the hallway until she let us stay. At least that's what I'm told. In all, we received a small reprimand but were allowed to stay in the room and, ultimately, remain as guests in the hotel. Although, considering the damage we did to that suite, they woulda been wicked smaht to kick us out then.

Minutes later the room service guy came in, and after some of us took a few regular pictures with him, I decided to get an Abu Ghraib photo where I had a cigarette dangling from my lips and I pointed to his junk. Shah was a good man, and patient, and obviously, thorough.

Slack Link of the Day: Here's the best headline I've seen all week: "Catholics angry over naked chocolate Jesus"

Slack Video of the Day: I'm not the only one who's back, though. The Sopranos returns for its final run of episodes next Sunday night. And since I know you've forgotten what the hell has gone on in this show like I have, here's a seven and a half minute recap of the full six and a half seasons. Job well done by whoever put this thing together...

Slack Song of the Day: I was out in Arizona for Spring Training when my favorite touring band set up shop at Irving Plaza, but luckily the tapers hooked us up with some goodies. Here's Tea Leaf Green from 3/24/07 in New Yawk City. Second-set awesomeness.

Allright, now it's time to zone out at my desk for the next few hours...


At 3:23 PM, Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

What kind of tip did Shah the Room Service Guy get for his services? More than the standard 15% I hope.

At 3:25 PM, Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

"Finger bang!" That made my day.

At 3:33 PM, Blogger Boxcar Fritz said...

I hope you threw a bible through a lamp, then threw lamp through a tv, than the tv through a door, than the door through a window. I've always wanted to do that a hotey.

Up Ace's alley:

(it's a big alley)

At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Patrick Walsh said...

Are you 100% sure that wasn't Doug E. Doug working at the hotel? What the hell happened to that guy?

One minute you're lighting up the silver screen in "That Darn Cat!" the next - just a punchline.


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