Snail on Turtle Action: Weeeeeeeeee!
From the desk of Bart Starbux comes this gem...man, some sort of trike and/or Big Wheel race on Easter looks like Christly fun.
And now some commentary from our judges:
"At first, I was sure that the tiger suit guy right at the beginning was my favorite. Then, I was confident that the two guys dressed like Beaker from the Muppet Show at 00:20 were the best, especially because they pass at exactly the same time in all that chaos. But no, wouldn't you know it, right near the end, there goes a Lego-head wearing prison stripes at 01:03. Winner." --Don Fiedler
"My favorites are the guy on the huge blue van--I really wish we could see him complete the spin that he is starting as he exits the screen--and some guy in a cape that flies by about halfway through. Nothing special about his outfit, but man is he moving! I also like the guy that has some sort of drinking device mounted on his big wheel--he's actually pulling on the straw as he goes by!" --Starbux
"I'm pretty tired. Cool shit, though." --Ace
Slack Link of the Day: And another thing, Vonnegut -- I'm stopping payment on the check! Sadly, star of Back To School and some kind of author Kurt Vonnegut passed away last night at the age of 84. It's always sad to lose someone of his caliber, with his brain, with his perspective. We need more Vonneguts in this world, not less.
Slack Link of the Day II: This Imus story is really starting to bug me. Enough already. I'm all for the two-week suspension, and I'd also like to see a two-week moratorium on talking about this thing. Imus is NOT the problem. He used stupid words. Let's deal with real racism, not jokes from so-called shock jocks that haven't been funny since the early 90s. Jason Whitlock says as much in his latest column for the Kansas City Star, and I couldn't agree with him any more. Kudos bar to Big Mr. Whitlock, of whom I've always been a big fan.
On a related note, where do Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton get off on leading this witchhunt? Um, didn't Jesse Jackson call the Jews "Hymies" and New York City "Hymietown" WHEN HE WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT? Wasn't Al Sharpton involved in a gigantic rape hoax that nearly tore the city apart, one of many such moronic buttinsky moves? Goddamn, if these two schmucks did their jobs well, they wouldn't have jobs any more. No wonder why they just make noise and don't take real, effective action. Go away. The black community, which I know nothing about obviously, needs better leadership.
Slack Video of the Day: Well, it's all set now. For the first time in Champions League history, three English teams are among the final four. And on one half of the bracket, Donnie's Chelsea club will meet my Liverpool squad in what will surely be the end of our friendship as we know it. Surely! The Reds and Blues are two of the hottest teams in the world right now, and on April 25th and May 1st, we'll find out which one plays a better 180 minutes and advances to the finals. I'm pretty confident I won't be walking alone when all is said and done.
Chelsea clearly has the better overall 11, but Liverpool has been playing really clever football of late and will for sure escape the Bridge with a fantastic result on the 25th. The real question will be, which skipper shows up in a bigger way for their club, Fat Franky Lampard or Steven Gerrard? To help us figure it out, let's consult this video (meanwhile, there are about 25 Lampard v. Gerrard mashups on YouTube, proving the Brits love the Internets more than we do):
Slack Song of the Day: Been listening to this 12/17/04 Fantastic 4 show a bunch since my new roommate let me in on it. The side project features Eric Krasno on guitar, Adam Deitch on drums, Robert Walter on keys and Cheme on sax, and it's basically as awesome as a side project gets. Seriously, hop on this show, you'll thank me.